Post by Don Gieseke on Oct 31, 2018 7:04:41 GMT -6
This story came from a U.S. Naval Academy alumni blog
Like all great flying stories, this one starts with, "Once upon a time..."
Once upon a time there was this infamous Navy fighter pilot named Joe "Hoser" Satrapa (USNA’64). Joe got his call sign the first time he was on a gunnery range near El Centro, California. On his first three firing passes, he missed the target. This upset him to the bone, so he resolved to make his fourth pass count. Flying as number four in a flight of four, he cut off number three during the last gunnery circuit, then "hosed" all his remaining ammunition at the target . . . missing it again! After being chewed out by his mission leader for his lack of in-flight discipline, Satrapa was awarded the call sign "Hoser."
He became an excellent pilot, completed 162 combat missions over Vietnam, made more than 500 carrier landings, and was known throughout the Navy for his dogfighting prowess. But Hoser was almost as well known for his don't-give-a-crap-about- paperwork attitude and the lack of deference he showed non-aviators, especially those of higher rank. Because of his “administrative deficiencies", he was forced out of the Navy as an 0-4 in the early 1980's.
When John Lehman (a former Navy A-6 backseater) became Secretary of the Navy a couple of years later, he arranged for a presidential order by Ronald Reagan to return Hoser to service with a promotion to 0-5. Lehman himself handed over the Silver Leafs on the day Hoser was welcomed back into the Navy. Hoser was assigned to the Navy’s Fighter Weapons School, Topgun, and was put in charge of the F-14 gun program where he continued to do what he did best . . . fly and fight and train Naval aviators to do the same. Hoser's Air to Air Guns brief, done as Patton's Flag Speech, was a highlight.
Sometime in 1986, Hoser "procured" a 20MM barrel from an F-14 gun. He attached it to a breach and fashioned himself a rather formidable weapon. One day while Hoser was playing around with his new invention, the breach blew up taking off Hoser’s right index finger and thumb. Note well that a right thumb is essential for flying a jet fighter because the electric trim tab is located on the top of the control stick where the pilot’s thumb rests while holding the stick. Thus a pilot without a right thumb is unable to fly a jet fighter.
But the lack of a right thumb would not stop Hoser. He convinced the surgeon to take off his right big toe and attach it to his right hand . . . now he had three fingers and a big toe. It looked a bit like a lobster claw but Hoser demonstrated that he could operate the trim button, so he went back on flight status . . . with a new call sign, "Toeser". Hey, you just can't make this stuff up.
So what does an old Navy fighter pilot do when he gets too old to fly Navy fighters? Joe became a water bomber, sometimes called a smoke bomber.
When a smoke pilot is on a run, he says, “I’m in the smoke.” The youtube video captures the essence of Toeser: And if you look closely, you can see the toe on his right hand several times in the video, but you have to be watching for it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aILfg1KRcg&feature=youtu.be